Are we Not All Beggars

Lately I have been thinking a lot about giving--especially during the holidays.

As most of you know, I work at LDS Philanthropies. It is a department of the Office of the Presiding Bishopric. We facilitate philanthropic gift to the Church's priorities. 

We give people the gift of giving.

 We are truly changing and saving lives. Hearts are changing and happiness is growing. Many of these donors are so consecrated. Many really strive to walk as he walked. 

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My Grandma Selman

When I was in preschool my mom used to drop me off at Grandma's on her way to work. Grandma and I spent a lot of time together. Time that I still deeply cherish today. One thing that always predominately sticks out to me when I think about my Grandma is how selfless she is!! I remember Grandma so willingly giving away any excess she has to people around her in need. 

And Jesus sat over against the treasury, and beheld how the people cast money into the treasury: and many that were rich cast in much. And there came a certain poor widow, and she threw in two mites, which make a farthing. And he called unto him his disciples, and saith unto them, Verily I say unto you, That this poor widow hath cast more in, than all they which have cast into the treasury: For all they did cast in of their abundance; but she of her want did cast in all that she had, even all her living (Mark 12:41-44). 

She definitely exemplifies the "widow's mite." Even today I constantly see her giving and serving others and doing what the Lord would want her to do with her time (indexing, temple attendance, visiting teaching....). She truely "giveth all that she hath."

“In this world it is not what we take up, but what we give up, that makes us rich.” 

-Henry Ward Beecher

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Nearly every week at work I am able to see the JOY that comes to these donors that give. I hear stories of how these donors lives are changed--how blessings from heaven pour down upon them. How they continue to give because they love how it feels to give without expecting anything in return.  

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“Wishing will not make it so.  The Lord expects our thinking.  He expects our action.  He expects our labors.  He expects our testimonies.  He expects our devotion.” 

–President Thomas S. Monson

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The Happy Giving Statistic

Arthur C. Brooks has giving many speeches regarding the paradox of giving. 

"In 2003, while working on a book about charitable giving, I stumbled across a strange pattern in my data. Paradoxically, I was finding that donors ended up with more income after making their gifts. This was more than correlation; I found solid evidence that giving stimulated prosperity. . . . that donating and volunteering bring a host of benefits to those who give . . . [such as] happiness.

"None of this is exactly revolutionary; after all, Jesus himself taught his followers, 

“It is more blessed to give than to receive... Giving empowers us to breathe more meaning into our lives ”

For the rest of the short article click HERE.

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“Verily I say unto you, Inasmuch as ye have done it unto one of the least of these my brethren, ye have done it unto me." (Matthew 25:40)

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Recently in General Conference Elder Holland gave a wonderful talk titled,
 "Are we Not all Beggars?"

In his conclusion he said:

"In that regard, I pay a personal tribute to President Thomas Spencer Monson. I have been blessed by an association with this man for 47 years now, and the image of him I will cherish until I die is of him flying home from then–economically devastated East Germany in his house slippers because he had given away not only his second suit and his extra shirts but the very shoes from off his feet. “How beautiful upon the mountains [and shuffling through an airline terminal] are the feet of him that bringeth good tidings, that publisheth peace.” More than any man I know, President Monson has “done all he could” for the widow and the fatherless, the poor and the oppressed."

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“What we have done for ourselves alone dies with us; what we have done for 

others and the world remains and is immortal.” ― Albert Pike

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I feel that my grandmother understands this simple principle oh so well. I have thought about her example many times throughout my life. Her Chirstlike example inspired me to be better, to be more selfless and loving with "my neighbors". I see her giving so freely. My Grandma often donates to the Church. She gives without a thought about herself and what would be more economically profitable for her.

She just gives.

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"We must walk as He walked" - Thomas S. Monson

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"For behold, are we not all beggars? Do we not all depend upon the same Being, even God, for all the substance which we have, for both food and raiment, and for gold, and for silver, and for all the riches which we have of every kind?" (Mosiah:4:19)

He is the Gift.

All that we have is because of Him. Utilizing our resources are ways in which we can share the gift and give back to him.

When we seek to serve others with love we are like the wise men who seeked out the Lord and followed the star.

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I am far from perfect when it comes to giving. I constantly need Him. He gave his life for me. He leads me to hope through the Atonement--His amazing gift to us. May we continue to share the gift by following His example. By being a disciple of Jesus Christ. By loving as he loves. 

He is my Savior.

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May you keep His spirit and the spirit of giving with you throughout the year.

Thank you...For listening

I have had some special experiences this week.

Earlier this week I texted my friend that I met at college last year. I was just asking how she was doing and saying we should catch up. Turns out that she wanted to talk to me about something going on in her life and was hesitant to text me. So she was super grateful that I listened to my prompting. The next day we talked for four hours. I wasn't able to get any work done but I was able to help someone (even if it was just a little). She was very grateful. It's still so fulfilling to me. It truly brings me much happiness when I help others.

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Today I went to the library to do some homework and they were advertising a technology open house. I felt like I should do it, and since I didn't want to do my homework (surprised?) I decided to go on the tour, get my hubby a free t-shirt, and find all the cool free stuff that the Herald B. Lee Library offers. (And let me tell you, it's awesome!). One of the stops was the family history section as I was approaching the door to enter there was an old man leaving. This is pretty normal considering a lot of old people come to work on the family history when they retire. This old man was looking down at the floor. I wanted to say hi to him (I have a thing for old men, I don't really know what it is.. I just really like a particular type of old men. I always have). So I did and said "hello". 

I walked a little slower to make sure that he would look up at me so he would know that I wanted to say hi to HIM. He took a moment but eventually slowly looked up since I was waiting for him. Then he said hi back and kept walking. After that I continued walking, feeling really good that I did something right. I felt like I was supposed to say hi to him (not just because I like old people). It was great.  

But then I heard him say, in the most humble and sweet tone, "Thank you for saying hi to me... and having me look up." 

I was deeply touched.

I don't know what that man is going through, but I felt like my little gesture really had an impact. I felt like I showed him love when he needed it. I turned around and said "you're welcome" with a nice smile, but he didn't turn around to say his comment. It sounded like it took a lot in him to reply those few words. Then I added, "have a nice day."  

I really feel like I have a special gift. Like most people, when I am not worried about school stressed about different things that happen in life,  I act a little different but I love when this part of me is able to be expressed. I feel like I can be an instrument in Heavenly Fathers hand  more. I can notice these tender moments more. I hope once I graduate, I will be able to develop this part of me more so that I can bless and uplift others and have them feel the LOVE of Christ more. 

I'm so grateful that my mother has always taught me, "people matter more." Because it's true, the purpose in life is to bring people to Christ. And what not a better way than to share Christ's love?

"May we show our love and appreciation for the Savior’s atoning sacrifice through our simple, compassionate acts of service...It is only when we love God and Christ with all of our hearts, souls, and minds that we are able to share this love with our neighbors through acts of kindness and service—the way that the Savior would love and serve all of us if He were among us today....The love the Savior described is an active love. It is not manifested through large and heroic deeds but rather through simple acts of kindness and service"

--Elder Ballard; FINDING JOY THROUGH LOVING SERVICE

“In all that you do, in all that you learn, in all you try to accomplish in life, please remember that we are all sons and daughters of God. We have to help each other.” 

—Elder M. Russell Ballard of the Quorum of the Twelve

“And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself” (Matthew 22:36–40).

“A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you. … By this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye have love one to another” (John 13:34–35).

Unconditional Love

I have been wanting to write about this for a while and I finally decided I need to just set the homework aside and write it because it is so important to me and I want to remember this and I want my kids to know it too. Warning: it's a "little" sporadic. 

I see myself as a pretty loving person and I feel like I love people fairly easily. I also knew that unconditional love meant that you don't have any condition on your love for them {right, it logically makes sense?}.

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I see a lot of people making LONG lists of why they love their spouse. One day I (as us women are known to do) began to wonder what my spouse would put on his list of why he loves me. Sam had not actually made one of these list of why he loves me so I decided to ask him.

"Sam, why do you love me?" You could tell he was surprised by the question but none the less gave his honest reply, "Missy, I don't love you for any particular reason. I just love... YOU." At first I didn't know how to make sense of this... good, he loves me for my personality?... Or can he really just not think of anything?... I knew this couldn't be true because I do feel a deep love from him... 

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In my theories class we are learning about the exchange theory. In essence, it is the theory that people make decisions in life that are going to be a profit to them. That they will evaluate the cost-benefit ratio before they make decisions. We, as family life scholars, relate this to relationships. That people will weigh the costs and benefits before deciding to marry someone but will most likely marry someone that they see as a gain. {There is a lot more that goes into this theory but that is the essence}. 
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Throughout my life I have heard that if you "let yourself go" or create a stressful home environment then your husband will start having an affair with his co-worker {variations depending on who I was talking too}. They are so sure that once you didn't “measure up” to your husband, he would see his alternatives and leave, end-of-story [profit would be greater than the cost: exchange theory]. It's so sad that people view marriage this way! A marriage would be so unstable if you could never put your guard down, you always had to go to "the gym". It's not comforting having this theory as your foundation for operation-- your view of marriage is a contract {as upon a condition being met}. However, Marriage is divinely created. One that is not designed based on the exchange theory but rather it is a covenant we make! 

There is one thing that the exchange theory can't explain: Altruism. 

Altruism: Unselfish concern for the welfare of others; selflessness.

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"Missy, I don't love you for any particular reason. I just love... YOU!"

Of all the many things that I have learned from having Sam in my life, this is one of my favorites!:

Sam has taught me what unconditional love is, what meaning unconditional really has... what true LOVE really is-- it is loving as Christ loves. 

Sam really does {only} love me, for me! Not because of anything that I possess or do or have... because the only thing constant in life is change. {don't get me wrong, there are things that he does love about me}. 

His love isn't founded about anything like that-- it's founded on a covenant-- a PROMISE that he made to me and to Heavenly Father.

I can't thank him enough for his great Christ-like example. He really does draw me closer to my savior by helping me realize how much they really do love me.

UNCONDITIONAL:
Something that I once thought as something so simple (and rather objective), became much much more, it became something that I felt—it became so real. I feel like it started to take on its own construct and personality. It had deeper substance and meaning. 
     Yet it's still beautifully abstract-- in a good way.

Christ and Heavenly Father loves me/you/us unconditionally. 

(The you tube clip I have recently posted goes along nicely with this).

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My professor was a Marriage and Family Therapist with his focus being in spouses that have addictions, mostly pornography. Before we read an article that he wrote, Covenant Sponsor—“Here Am I, Send Me”, he told us that a lot of people say that once their spouse has an addiction or views pornography or any other sexual transgression, they are going to leave their marriage. He tied this in with the exchange theory and unconditional love (these marriages are based on a condition-- that they don't get addicted to anything). I really liked his take on this subject and the principles he emphasizes (I think they can be applied to all marriages because it gives each spouse a powerful outlook on helping their spouse through weaknesses). Here is the 'abstract' of the article in a book:

Sharing a loved one’s struggle with addiction requires a heart for healing, one that is

close- knit and close- kin to the Savior’s own loving heart. Only such a heart is willing to suffer innocently, sacrifice, and endure in the hope of helping save another. Marriage, family, and priesthood relationships are divinely designed and divinely endowed for our help here in mortality. In these relationships God beckons us to be covenant “sponsors” to help sustain and secure loved ones’ recovery. In turn, God promises heaven’s help! Surely the windows of heaven are never open wider than for a dear daughter or son of God who meekly follows in the Savior’s Gethsemane footsteps in order to rescue a loved one. It is a miraculous witness of the love of God the way He helps His covenant helpers, magnifying their capacity and their understanding, their love and their peace— sanctifying their hearts and exalting their souls. In the context of agency, there are no guarantees that one’s service and sacrifice will be welcomed or fulfill its rescuing purpose, but love so given is never wasted, and hope endures and often bears precious fruit. “Why suffer?” “How can I endure?” “How can I be at peace?” “How can I still be happy amid this trial?”... {read more} to consider whether, why, and how you too may meekly offer, “Here am I, send me” (Abraham 3:27), and walk in the Savior’s footsteps.

I am so grateful for my husband that understands what a covenant marriage is and is willing to live up to it.

There is so much more I want to comment on and tie all of these random thoughts together... but I hope you get the messages...  I need to get other things done. :P