We're Moving! Baby Shower! Fun Surprise Date! and Sam's Birthday!

Back in the beginning of August Sam applied for a job at MathWorks. This wasn't just any job-- it was a job that fit his skill, experience, and interests to a T! Seriously, who knew Sam's dream job actually existed!? After 4 rounds of intense HR and whiteboard/engineering interviews they flew him out to Massachusetts!! It was intense, crazy, but an exciting time.

^^On his way to Massachusetts for a day--it was a quick free trip^^

Needless to say: Sam nailed it! He felt really good about how it went. Then they did a background check and talked to Sam's referrals. They basically interviewed Sam's mentor professor--asking questions like Sam's "intellectual aptitude." (click here for more details)

Then... A few days later they made Sam a job offer!! and we accepted!!!

The most ironic thing about it all-- is that for the past couple years, when I talked about where we would live after Sam graduated I always said Boston/the Boston Area... I thought it was because it was really the only place outside of Utah that I had been because my sister lived out there and I visited her once... but maybe I deep down I knew?? was He was preparing me for a few years to make such a big step? I think so. I know at times it will be hard living so far away from family and missing big exciting events-- but we are sooo excited for the adventure!!!

^^It was crazy accepting a career after he had only applied to one full-time job! But when you feel good about it, what do you do?^^

^^I celebrated all of Sam's hard work both in school and in the many many hours preparing the the interviews by taking him to the Cheesecake Factory!! {Still loving these wedding gift cards! :P}^^

About a week later Sam's supervisor sent him an Edible Creation--it was a super fun surprise!!

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Back in October my amazing, talented, wonderful sister threw me a baby shower and it turned out soooo cute, perfect, and wonderful!! Seriously, it's the cutest shower...ever.

^^No, it wasn't bought from a store... Cami painted it!!!^^

^^Our little guy's Grandma and Aunties--A, B, C, and T!! Thank you so much girls!!!^^

A BIG THANK YOU to all of you who came and celebrated our son!! We really appreciate all of your love and support! :) 

^^Watching Lucas and Sam play around together gets me sooo excited to be having a BOY!! They have such a fun relationship!!^^

^^And these two!! Need I say more!? . . . "Bryn Bryn??"^^

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One Saturday a few weeks ago, Sam took me on a surprise date to the Living Planet Aquarium!! We seriously had a ton of FUN!!

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Happy 27th Birthday to Sam!!! 

^^Of course he would ask for authentic Mexican for his birthday dinner :)^^

We're Having a Baby Boy!!

After a long wait, much anticipation, a roller-coaster of emotions, we couldn't be more excited to announce that we have our little miracle baby coming this winter!!! :D

^^It only took us about five tries but we finally got this awesome shot on the 4th of July! Thanks to Sam for his photo skills! Missy (B) Justin (A) Cami (b) Alex (y)^^

I am due December 30th-- a very exciting time of year!

^^15 weeks--I was barely showing, my pants were tight or not fitting at all, but this is when people started to comment on my baby bump when I was working in the temple. For some reason my temple dress made my baby bump look a lot bigger--and I loved it!!^^

^^17 Weeks^^

^^20 Weeks--when we were up at Heber Valley Camp @ the Flink Family Reunion^^

 ^^How we announced on social media ^^

Sam started to feel baby kick when I was almost 21 weeks. The first time I really felt baby kick all the time was when I was in the temple and it made the experience just that much more divine and wonderful!!!

^^When I was 22 weeks pregnant^^

I am going to be 25 weeks pregnant this week! and I have the cutest baby bump!! I love it!!

Expecting has been such a blessing to our family! Not just in the sense that we're having a baby! but also how this experience has been able to lighten the times of life that are hard. Let me explain:

Sam has been wearing a lot of hats lately! Not only is he working at being a great husband has been so busy prepping for a full-time job offer after graduation, doing his calling in a YSA bishopric (it's time consuming getting people to speak on Sunday when 1/2 of the ward is in the middle of vacations and moving out!), doing his research | thesis--and being a good team member and meeting those goals and deadlines, prepping for interviews at MathWorks (more coming on that later), starting his first CS class, taking a ME class, being a temple worker for 5 hours every Wednesday (we love love love working in the temple!), Sam's brother, and being a TA. All great things and we don't want to give any of them up but man, it's a lot on ones plate!!

Even among the chaos-- Sam is still placing being a father as one of his greatest priorities! 

We love going to my OBGYN appointments and hearing baby's heart beat!! And those ultrasounds are one of the greatest things ever invented!! Just seeing baby move and interact and do all of those cute things babies do--just melts my heart, and feels me with one of the greatest feeling ever! The way Sam responds is so priceless!! 

When Sam gets really stressed or can't sleep--he just puts his hand on my belly and baby will move and Sam just gets so filled with JOY!! I love watching Sam bond with our baby--he talks to baby all the time, and plays with baby when i'm sleeping. It's amazing that when Sam wants baby to move -- he does!! 

I can just see the stress and worry melt away as baby turns and rolls over and Sam feels him. It's all so heavenly. My heart feel like it's about to burst! Baby has already brought so much joy to our family!!!

It's not too much work lately-- but we love being parents! It's amazing thinking of myself as a mother. I love feeling the responsibility of being trusted to care for one of His spirit children, I love creating a human--our child!!, I LOVE feeling just that much closer to the veil. I love getting to know babies kicking patterns. I honestly love being pregnant!!

My heart goes out to those who are still waiting for their little miracle. I know our wait wasn't as long as many others and my heart still aches for them. Keep trying--it'll all workout.

Faith and Fear

Life is hard. My heart aches. I feel sorrow. 

I turn to the Lord and pray with full purpose in heart. With REAL intent. I know he is listening.

I listen to many testimonies bearing witness that God loves us, that things will work out. I believe them. I know God wants what is best for us and our family. 

I know the suffering Sam and I are experiencing is for a purpose. To make us stronger. I feel myself slowly becoming stronger as time passes by. 

But I still ask why. I want to see full picture, I want to see what he wants us to become. I don't see it yet. At times I can feel that fear seeping in. I don't like it. So I constantly have to keep turning to him.

I feel like no matter how hard we try and how hard we work it really doesn't make a difference. I feel like things are not working out. As of right now, they are not working out. The only thing that is working out is God's plan. It's funny how I thought I had more control over this. But I guess this is what faith is. Belief.

I am mad. I am not mad at my Heavenly Father though. Every time I pray to him and tell him how I feel he always wraps me up with his unconditional love and tells me it'll be alright. I cry, pleading for more understanding. More patience more anything that will make this pain go away.

And so I trust Him, something I am very bad at (I have  a really hard time trusting others), and ... I wait. I pray. Hoping for brighter days ahead. 

"Do your best, and leave the rest to him"

The Trials of Life

It is comforting knowing that Heavenly Father knows that we can handle all that life asks of us... at times I definitely question my capacity. 

In one of my classes we talked about family stress. A few weeks ago our topics were on adoption and infertility. During this time I was really emotional and struggled studying these topics because of our unique situation.

When I was heading home for dinner I saw a mother pushing a stroller and I just lost it. The tears came flooding down. My heart ached. I have seen so many strollers on campus, but now, it was different.

Even though we experience trials that are a dichotomy of simplicity and complexity, it's comforting that our Savior, Jesus Christ, completely understands what we are going through. He is walking right there with us, holding us up and giving us strength.

Even though these experiences are hard. I feel Him. I feel his love so unbounded. I know that my Redeemer liveth. 

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We have already sacrificed so much for our future children. . . I am beginning to see all that my Father in Heaven does for us. These two songs really encompasses how I feel about our situation:

"I would die for that."
-- Kellie Coffey
"When you gave me up, you gave everything to me".
-- Mark Schultz

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I am not pregnant. I wish I was pregnant. but I am not pregnant . . . if and when I am pregnant, I'll be sure to let you know. 

sometimes these topics are sensitive and can really hurt. there are kinder ways to go about this--such as not asking or assuming you know what's going on and jumping to conclusions. may we all remember not to judge others. this matter is between the husband, the wife, and the Lord.

Future is as Bright as Your Faith

I, like most of my peers, are in the stage of great uncertainty. A few weeks ago when I was seeking some peace I really loved this Quote by Elder Nelson from his talk Face the Future with Faith.

“Your prayers have entered into the ears of the Lord … and are recorded with this seal and testament—the Lord hath sworn and decreed that they shall be granted.

“Therefore, he giveth this promise unto you, with an immutable covenant that they shall be fulfilled; and all things wherewith you have been afflicted shall work together for your good, and to my name’s glory, saith the Lord.” {Section 98 of the Doctrine and Covenants}

The Lord chose His strongest words to reassure us! Seal! Testament! Sworn! Decreed! Immutable covenant! Brothers and sisters, believe Him! God will heed your sincere and heartfelt prayers, and your faith will be strengthened.

How you deal with life’s trials is part of the development of your faith. Strength comes when you remember that you have a divine nature, an inheritance of infinite worth. 

The Lord has reminded you, your children, and your grandchildren that you are lawful heirs, that you have been reserved in heaven for your specific time and place to be born, to grow and become His standard bearers and covenant people. 

As you walk in the Lord’s path of righteousness, you will be blessed to continue in His goodness and be a light and a savior unto His people.

Our beloved President Thomas S. Monson has given us his prophetic witness. He said: “I testify to you that our promised blessings are beyond measure. Though the storm clouds may gather, though the rains may pour down upon us, our knowledge of the gospel and our love of our Heavenly Father and of our Savior will comfort and sustain us and bring joy to our hearts as we walk uprightly and keep the commandments.”

President Monson continued: 

“My beloved brothers and sisters, fear not. Be of good cheer. The future is as bright as your faith.”