Saturday, April 13, 2013
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Earthly Father, Heavenly Father
I LOVE this message! I have probably watched it over a dozen times and yet I still cry each time.
Thursday, April 4, 2013
Thank you, Mr. Gardener
I am always so touched to hear this story, pretty sure I cry listening to this one every time:
"I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying.
I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”
That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’
Time passed. Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I had made rather rapid progress as far as promotions are concerned, and I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. And I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. There was just one man between me and that which for ten years I had hoped to get, the office of general in the British Army. I swelled up with pride. And this one man became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner in charge of all Canadian forces. I called in my valet, my personal servant. I told him to polish my buttons, to brush my hat and my boots, and to make me look like a general because that is what I was going to be. He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the General, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer. Someone else will be made a general.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for ten years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.
Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and I took a soldier’s privilege of looking on his desk. I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it in bold, block-type letters was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. I already held the highest rank of any Mormon in the British Army. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly. I saluted out of duty and went out. I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure. You will be called a coward when you get home. You raised all those Mormon boys to join the army, then you sneak off home.” I knew what I was going to get, and when I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap and my saddle brown belt on the cot. I clinched my fists and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness.”- ELDER HUGH B. BROWN
For the Full Story Click Here
"I was living up in Canada. I had purchased a farm. It was run-down. I went out one morning and saw a currant bush. It had grown up over six feet high. It was going all to wood. There were no blossoms and no currants. I was raised on a fruit farm in Salt Lake before we went to Canada, and I knew what ought to happen to that currant bush. So I got some pruning shears and went after it, and I cut it down, and pruned it, and clipped it back until there was nothing left but a little clump of stumps. It was just coming daylight, and I thought I saw on top of each of these little stumps what appeared to be a tear, and I thought the currant bush was crying.
I was kind of simpleminded (and I haven’t entirely gotten over it), and I looked at it, and smiled, and said, “What are you crying about?” You know, I thought I heard that currant bush talk. And I thought I heard it say this: “How could you do this to me? I was making such wonderful growth. I was almost as big as the shade tree and the fruit tree that are inside the fence, and now you have cut me down. Every plant in the garden will look down on me, because I didn’t make what I should have made. How could you do this to me? I thought you were the gardener here.”
That’s what I thought I heard the currant bush say, and I thought it so much that I answered. I said, “Look, little currant bush, I am the gardener here, and I know what I want you to be. I didn’t intend you to be a fruit tree or a shade tree. I want you to be a currant bush, and some day, little currant bush, when you are laden with fruit, you are going to say, ‘Thank you, Mr. Gardener, for loving me enough to cut me down, for caring enough about me to hurt me. Thank you, Mr. Gardener.’
Time passed. Years passed, and I found myself in England. I was in command of a cavalry unit in the Canadian Army. I had made rather rapid progress as far as promotions are concerned, and I held the rank of field officer in the British Canadian Army. And I was proud of my position. And there was an opportunity for me to become a general. I had taken all the examinations. I had the seniority. There was just one man between me and that which for ten years I had hoped to get, the office of general in the British Army. I swelled up with pride. And this one man became a casualty, and I received a telegram from London. It said: “Be in my office tomorrow morning at 10:00,” signed by General Turner in charge of all Canadian forces. I called in my valet, my personal servant. I told him to polish my buttons, to brush my hat and my boots, and to make me look like a general because that is what I was going to be. He did the best he could with what he had to work on, and I went up to London. I walked smartly into the office of the General, and I saluted him smartly, and he gave me the same kind of a salute a senior officer usually gives—a sort of “Get out of the way, worm!” He said, “Sit down, Brown.” Then he said, “I’m sorry I cannot make the appointment. You are entitled to it. You have passed all the examinations. You have the seniority. You’ve been a good officer, but I can’t make the appointment. You are to return to Canada and become a training officer and a transport officer. Someone else will be made a general.” That for which I had been hoping and praying for ten years suddenly slipped out of my fingers.
Then he went into the other room to answer the telephone, and I took a soldier’s privilege of looking on his desk. I saw my personal history sheet. Right across the bottom of it in bold, block-type letters was written, “THIS MAN IS A MORMON.” We were not very well liked in those days. When I saw that, I knew why I had not been appointed. I already held the highest rank of any Mormon in the British Army. He came back and said, “That’s all, Brown.” I saluted him again, but not quite as smartly. I saluted out of duty and went out. I got on the train and started back to my town, 120 miles away, with a broken heart, with bitterness in my soul. And every click of the wheels on the rails seemed to say, “You are a failure. You will be called a coward when you get home. You raised all those Mormon boys to join the army, then you sneak off home.” I knew what I was going to get, and when I got to my tent, I was so bitter that I threw my cap and my saddle brown belt on the cot. I clinched my fists and I shook them at heaven. I said, “How could you do this to me, God? I have done everything I could do to measure up. There is nothing that I could have done—that I should have done—that I haven’t done. How could you do this to me?” I was as bitter as gall.
And then I heard a voice, and I recognized the tone of this voice. It was my own voice, and the voice said, “I am the gardener here. I know what I want you to do.” The bitterness went out of my soul, and I fell on my knees by the cot to ask forgiveness for my ungratefulness and my bitterness.”- ELDER HUGH B. BROWN
For the Full Story Click Here
Saturday, March 30, 2013
Easter Traditions
I wanted to add to my Easter Holliday traditions. I have found Easter to be a truly sacred and powerful celebration in my life and I wanted this very special holliday to be prominent in my family as we remember the Atonement and Resurrection. I have also learned the importance of having traditions and rituals, for the right reasons, because they can aid in your progression towards reaching your family goals {Sam and I have been having a lot of fun deciding what traditions and rituals we want to keep in our family and what new ones we want to start}.
The egg has become an almost universal symbol of Easter to represent the Savior’s breaking the bands of death through His Resurrection. Thus coloring and hiding eggs for an Easter egg hunt and giving Easter baskets are common traditions.
Traditions:
* Easter Basket- Hidden in the morning {we bought ours last year and I am so excited to use it}
Note: I got some of these ideas from a great article that was recently released by the church.
http://motherhoodmatters.blogs.deseretnews.com/2013/03/06/a-deliberate-mothers-guide-to-a-christ-centered-easter/
Elder L. Tom Perry said: “The Lord has not been so explicit in providing us religious customs along the order of feasts and festivals to remind us of the blessings we receive from Him today. However, the practice of having traditions to keep us close to the great heritage which is ours to enjoy should be something every family should try to keep alive” (“Family Traditions,” Ensign, May 1990, 20).
The egg has become an almost universal symbol of Easter to represent the Savior’s breaking the bands of death through His Resurrection. Thus coloring and hiding eggs for an Easter egg hunt and giving Easter baskets are common traditions.
Traditions:
* Easter Basket- Hidden in the morning {we bought ours last year and I am so excited to use it}
* Special Easter scrapbook that chronicles every year of happy family memories-- After Easter dinner, take a photograph of all the family members and other dear friends who shared dinner with us {Then include the testimonies}
* Include written testimony; a personal treat/ inside joke {Got Sammy Nutter Butters this year}
* Watch atonement movie on Saturday
* Express JOY about the resurrection!!
* Include written testimony; a personal treat/ inside joke {Got Sammy Nutter Butters this year}
* Watch atonement movie on Saturday
* Express JOY about the resurrection!!
* Sharing Easter Music--Music can have a wonderful influence on us at Easter. {Gather at the piano to sing hymns and Primary songs about Easter.}
* Share an Easter {Family} Meal Together {Go out to semi-fancy restaurant to show how extraordinary and meaningful Easter is}
* Attend the temple
Ideas with future kids:
* Each evening during the week before Easter have a short lesson on the things that happened during the last week of the Savior’s life. Would be a good time to talk about the egg as a symbol of new life and the Resurrection.{Include testimony bearing in FHE routine}
* Each evening during the week before Easter have a short lesson on the things that happened during the last week of the Savior’s life. Would be a good time to talk about the egg as a symbol of new life and the Resurrection.{Include testimony bearing in FHE routine}
* When kids are young, put in a message with the Easter egg hunt. {Place message inside a plastic egg a small item that symbolizes something related to Christ’s death and Resurrection and a scripture to read. Then number the eggs in sequence of the Easter story. As the children open the eggs in order, they learn of Christ’s Atonement and Resurrection.}
* Seeking out Easter-related concerts to help them remember the Savior’s sacrifice.
* Children are grown: invite other adult friends to a special dinner and share memories and reflect on what Easter means.
* Children are grown: invite other adult friends to a special dinner and share memories and reflect on what Easter means.
Note: I got some of these ideas from a great article that was recently released by the church.
http://motherhoodmatters.blogs.deseretnews.com/2013/03/06/a-deliberate-mothers-guide-to-a-christ-centered-easter/
Monday, March 25, 2013
Thursday, March 21, 2013
Family Recipes
I updated my family recipes blog, I included why the motto of the blog is "I'll eat anything Missy makes." I decided to add it here as well because it's a good story. :)
I have learned a great lesson from Sam about "eating anything I make." Which is one of the reasons I started this blog. I am so grateful for my husband who lovingly eats the "gross meals" that I provide at times. I will probably only include meals that I feel turned out wonderful here . . . and never disclose all of the bad meals I make. However, I still cherish the burnt/ disgusting meals I make because of the lesson Sam teaches me each every time I make food. Below will explain why "I'll eat anything Missy makes" as the motto for this blog. I asked Sam what I should put for the motto and that's what he said. :)
I love to make food for Sam he get so excited when I say it's time to eat. We love eating! And I love knowing that he honestly loves and will eat everything that I make. Maybe not necessarily because of the taste, but because his sweetheart sacrificed to make it for him.
I can remember a night in particular {maybe even a couple} when, after a long, hard day at school and work, I placed an extremely gross meal in front Sam. I remember waiting to see if he noticed how disgusting it smelled/ turned out! {I was probably experimenting or trying to use up leftovers creatively}.
All my loving husband did was reach for his spoon or fork, and give me a smile and ask me how my day was. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him eat that gross meal. He ate every bite of that thing...never made a face nor uttered a word about it!
When I got up from the table that evening {aka our couch and t.v. tray we call our table since our apartment doesn't have a place for a table}, I remember apologizing to Sam for it not turning out. And I'll never forget what he says, "Honey, it's perfect."
Later that night, I asked Sam if he really liked that meal. He wrapped me in his arms and gave me a kiss. His kind gesture said to me: "You put in a hard day at work and school today and you're really tired. And besides--a little imperfect meal never hurt anyone!"
As I think about this, which I do often, I realized that Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned is that learning to accept each other's faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. Understand the one you love; it will make your marriage richer. This is what Sam has taught me. I no longer worry if Sam will eat what I make and I thank him for that.
Sam taught me a valuable lesson where service, love, sacrifice, and selflessness are key factors in keeping a strong marriage. I feel this every time he says, "Please pass me the leftovers {that gross food that I made}" and gives me a smile which really tells me "yes, the burnt and imperfect one will do just fine" so that I may have the better piece.
"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."
Sunday, March 17, 2013
Stages of Marriage
Part of class notes/powerpoint from my Family Proclamation class. We were learning about the 3 stages of Marriage.
Stage 1: Romantic Love Stage
- “ecstasy” – Greek word meaning “deranged”.
- primarily sexual, passionate, irrational.
- communication
- lack of lack of major crises
- tend to show only good side
- full of optimism
- Dopamine - mother nature’s way of attracting men and women to each other long enough for a seed for a more stable relationship to be planted and begin to grow
- great fun! - Well done Mother Nature!!
Stage 2: Disillusionment and Distraction
- Romantic love inevitably slips away, the honeymoon always ends.
- Challenges arise.
- Learning to live together takes physical and emotional toll.
- Reality replaces fantasy.
- Marriage fulfills you but also disappoints you.
- Personality traits and behaviors not seen during courtship start to appear
(e.g., temper, mood swings, sleep patterns, irritability)
- “Best-side” forward replaced by basic side.
(Does not inspire romantic love)
- Start wanting to change our partner and maybe even feelings of regret.
- Start to experience stressful events that further tax the relationship.
(e.g., children, bills, illness, buying a home, miscarriage)
- Life “infringes” on the time devoted to relationship.
- Sex life hurt by stress, fatigue, diminishing romantic love, etc.
- GOOD NEWS!! MOST couples make it past this stage!
Stage 3: Dissolution or Adjustment with Resignation or Contentment.
Question now = “What should we do?”
1. We can give up – “Dissolving the relationship” (divorce, separation)
2. We can keep on trying to survive in an unsatisfying marriage - “Adjusting with Resignation”
- little love
- couples tend to grow apart and lead parallel lives
- stay together for external reasons (e.g., children, $, guilt)
3. We can decide to be more content – “Adjusting with contentment”
- Develop new kinds of love
I love learning about things like this!! It really makes me feel like Sam and I are actually doing really well. Beyond what we just think or believe. After I showed Sam these phases I asked him, "Where do you think we are?" And to my joy, he answered the exact same as me. "We are transitioning into stage 3" and pointed to the third option. That week {which was about a month ago}, we had a few conversations about "Adjusting with contentment" and developing new kinds of love. Even though, we still have to work to stay at this third, highest level . . . I am so grateful we both were able to realize that we really did not like the second stage relatively shortly after we entered into it. I am also grateful that we were able to be guided to where we are now and be on the right course for an enduring, happy marriage.
Stage 1: Romantic Love Stage
- “ecstasy” – Greek word meaning “deranged”.
- primarily sexual, passionate, irrational.
- communication
- lack of lack of major crises
- tend to show only good side
- full of optimism
- Dopamine - mother nature’s way of attracting men and women to each other long enough for a seed for a more stable relationship to be planted and begin to grow
- great fun! - Well done Mother Nature!!
Stage 2: Disillusionment and Distraction
- Romantic love inevitably slips away, the honeymoon always ends.
- Challenges arise.
- Learning to live together takes physical and emotional toll.
- Reality replaces fantasy.
- Marriage fulfills you but also disappoints you.
- Personality traits and behaviors not seen during courtship start to appear
(e.g., temper, mood swings, sleep patterns, irritability)
- “Best-side” forward replaced by basic side.
(Does not inspire romantic love)
- Start wanting to change our partner and maybe even feelings of regret.
- Start to experience stressful events that further tax the relationship.
(e.g., children, bills, illness, buying a home, miscarriage)
- Life “infringes” on the time devoted to relationship.
- Sex life hurt by stress, fatigue, diminishing romantic love, etc.
- GOOD NEWS!! MOST couples make it past this stage!
Stage 3: Dissolution or Adjustment with Resignation or Contentment.
Question now = “What should we do?”
1. We can give up – “Dissolving the relationship” (divorce, separation)
2. We can keep on trying to survive in an unsatisfying marriage - “Adjusting with Resignation”
- little love
- couples tend to grow apart and lead parallel lives
- stay together for external reasons (e.g., children, $, guilt)
3. We can decide to be more content – “Adjusting with contentment”
- Develop new kinds of love
I love learning about things like this!! It really makes me feel like Sam and I are actually doing really well. Beyond what we just think or believe. After I showed Sam these phases I asked him, "Where do you think we are?" And to my joy, he answered the exact same as me. "We are transitioning into stage 3" and pointed to the third option. That week {which was about a month ago}, we had a few conversations about "Adjusting with contentment" and developing new kinds of love. Even though, we still have to work to stay at this third, highest level . . . I am so grateful we both were able to realize that we really did not like the second stage relatively shortly after we entered into it. I am also grateful that we were able to be guided to where we are now and be on the right course for an enduring, happy marriage.
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