Fulton Conference

The BYU Fulton Conference was awesome!!

I got to stand by my poster and talk about my research!

My professor, Dr. Busby asked if I wanted to eat by him -- What an honor for me!! We got to know each other better. :D

During the luncheon they presented awards and I got the honorable mention!! I was so happy!!

After the lunch, he said we could take our posters home when the conference is over and then hang them up for our roommates to read. Then he added, "maybe not the one on Sex" -- then a ton of people turned and looked at me.

I talked with President Samuelson briefly and he asked me if my research intimidates people. He also asked about my plans after graduation. I really like our president! He is a great guy!

BYU Bell Tower

Sam and I had the opportunity to get a tour of the BYU Bell Tower. It's amazing!

We even got to play a few bells!! :D

Our 1st Furniture - A PIANO!

We bought our first piano!! (With cash)

We were not going to get it until after graduation but we just really felt like now is the right time.

I have LOVED how much this piano has benefited our family. The spirit that comes in, the stress that is relieved, the talents that are developing-- it's priceless.

We're so HAPPY!!

Faith and Fear

Life is hard. My heart aches. I feel sorrow. 

I turn to the Lord and pray with full purpose in heart. With REAL intent. I know he is listening.

I listen to many testimonies bearing witness that God loves us, that things will work out. I believe them. I know God wants what is best for us and our family. 

I know the suffering Sam and I are experiencing is for a purpose. To make us stronger. I feel myself slowly becoming stronger as time passes by. 

But I still ask why. I want to see full picture, I want to see what he wants us to become. I don't see it yet. At times I can feel that fear seeping in. I don't like it. So I constantly have to keep turning to him.

I feel like no matter how hard we try and how hard we work it really doesn't make a difference. I feel like things are not working out. As of right now, they are not working out. The only thing that is working out is God's plan. It's funny how I thought I had more control over this. But I guess this is what faith is. Belief.

I am mad. I am not mad at my Heavenly Father though. Every time I pray to him and tell him how I feel he always wraps me up with his unconditional love and tells me it'll be alright. I cry, pleading for more understanding. More patience more anything that will make this pain go away.

And so I trust Him, something I am very bad at (I have  a really hard time trusting others), and ... I wait. I pray. Hoping for brighter days ahead. 

"Do your best, and leave the rest to him"

Y Ball and Intramural Soccer

BYU put on a free dinner and dance for married or engaged couples on campus. It was so awesome!! 

^^I got so many compliments on my dress!!^^

Sam and I participated in Intramural soccer again. It's so fun!!

Soaking It In

I am so sad to graduate! I am excited to graduate, but I have LOVED my BYU experience!! Just the other day I was driving past the Hinckley Center and I started to get emotional. A part of me doesn't want this chapter of my life to end! I am cougar/true blue/BYU through and through!

Every year I have gone to the University Accessibility Center Banquet. This may be my last year attending this banquet-- I was sad. It was such a good program!

^^During dinner we sat next to the son and daughter-in-law of Ernest L. Wilkenson. Such sweet people!^^

 

 ^^Me beginning to realize that these kind of experiences are coming to a close^^

 ^^ I am so grateful that I get to share these experiences with my hubby! ^^

* * * * *

Over a year ago Sam and I talked about the BYU bell tower and the rumors of what it is like inside. We wanted to go inside and see it--and  we got too!!

After we found out about some exciting news about graduate school we didn't have any dinner ready and we knew we wouldn't start our homework because we wanted to talk about all these exciting things! So we decided to use one of our gift cards to Olive Garden. It was so fun! I am so glad we did that! It was a great Thursday night.

 ^^We both got accepted into our graduate programs^^

I participated in the Civic Engagement departments' workshop. 

^^A great keynote speaker that talked about how Martin Luther King Jr. was able to be so successful. He was friends with him.^^ 

 ^^My first research conference--UTCFR^^

The other day I was walking across campus and I was just soaking it all in. BYU has a beautiful campus!! These pictures in the rain don't do it justice. BYU really does have a sweet spirit to it. I will definitely miss this time in my life!!

The Trials of Life

It is comforting knowing that Heavenly Father knows that we can handle all that life asks of us... at times I definitely question my capacity. 

In one of my classes we talked about family stress. A few weeks ago our topics were on adoption and infertility. During this time I was really emotional and struggled studying these topics because of our unique situation.

When I was heading home for dinner I saw a mother pushing a stroller and I just lost it. The tears came flooding down. My heart ached. I have seen so many strollers on campus, but now, it was different.

Even though we experience trials that are a dichotomy of simplicity and complexity, it's comforting that our Savior, Jesus Christ, completely understands what we are going through. He is walking right there with us, holding us up and giving us strength.

Even though these experiences are hard. I feel Him. I feel his love so unbounded. I know that my Redeemer liveth. 

* * * *

We have already sacrificed so much for our future children. . . I am beginning to see all that my Father in Heaven does for us. These two songs really encompasses how I feel about our situation:

"I would die for that."
-- Kellie Coffey
"When you gave me up, you gave everything to me".
-- Mark Schultz

* * * *

I am not pregnant. I wish I was pregnant. but I am not pregnant . . . if and when I am pregnant, I'll be sure to let you know. 

sometimes these topics are sensitive and can really hurt. there are kinder ways to go about this--such as not asking or assuming you know what's going on and jumping to conclusions. may we all remember not to judge others. this matter is between the husband, the wife, and the Lord.