{Graduation!!}

Sam and I Graduated from BYU!!!

It was a surreal experience. I cried. I am going to miss being a student at BYU. I am grateful Sam is still going to be a student-- it makes it a smaller change for me. 

President Utchdorf's message in general conference really brought me comfort:

"There seems to be something inside of us that resists endings. 

Why is this? Because we are made of the stuff of eternity. We are eternal beings, children of the Almighty God, whose name is Endless and who promises eternal blessings without number. Endings are not our destiny."

I am excited for the changes ahead but I feel inside that I am an eternal being that resists these changes at the same time. So I move forward with faith and trust in Him. 

Then we had dinner at Pizza Pie Cafe! So Yummy!!

Cami's Shower and Baby Lucas

My sister Brittany came into town for a week as we celebrated: my Graduation, Mom's Birthday,  Brittany's Birthday, Cami's Baby Shower, and us being a FAMILY.

I will admit that most of the week I was holding baby Lucas (Brittany's youngest). I was first in line to change his diapers, rock him to sleep, change his clothes, etc...

Oh how precious little spirits from our Father above are.

BYU Graduation Party!!

When BYU throws a party... they really know how to throw a PARTY!!!

^^Free Dinner (Hamberger, Hot Dogs, Pizza, Chips, and an open fountain drink)^^

^^Finally got my photo with Cosmo!!^^

^^My Family with Cosmo!!^^

^^A Game of ping pong^^

^^A {Free} game of Bowling^^

^^Lots of free BYU Ice Cream^^

A vocal point concert.

President Samuelson came.

We were pretty excited when we went onto the next activity-- free prizes. I said a prayer and after this complete stranger gave us 5 of his tickets because he was leaving we won a big first aid kit and THE GRAND PRIZE!!! A bike and a helmet!! {With the tickets he gave us}. We were on cloud nine!!

We're feeling so grateful!! :D

Fulton Conference

The BYU Fulton Conference was awesome!!

I got to stand by my poster and talk about my research!

My professor, Dr. Busby asked if I wanted to eat by him -- What an honor for me!! We got to know each other better. :D

During the luncheon they presented awards and I got the honorable mention!! I was so happy!!

After the lunch, he said we could take our posters home when the conference is over and then hang them up for our roommates to read. Then he added, "maybe not the one on Sex" -- then a ton of people turned and looked at me.

I talked with President Samuelson briefly and he asked me if my research intimidates people. He also asked about my plans after graduation. I really like our president! He is a great guy!

BYU Bell Tower

Sam and I had the opportunity to get a tour of the BYU Bell Tower. It's amazing!

We even got to play a few bells!! :D

Our 1st Furniture - A PIANO!

We bought our first piano!! (With cash)

We were not going to get it until after graduation but we just really felt like now is the right time.

I have LOVED how much this piano has benefited our family. The spirit that comes in, the stress that is relieved, the talents that are developing-- it's priceless.

We're so HAPPY!!

Faith and Fear

Life is hard. My heart aches. I feel sorrow. 

I turn to the Lord and pray with full purpose in heart. With REAL intent. I know he is listening.

I listen to many testimonies bearing witness that God loves us, that things will work out. I believe them. I know God wants what is best for us and our family. 

I know the suffering Sam and I are experiencing is for a purpose. To make us stronger. I feel myself slowly becoming stronger as time passes by. 

But I still ask why. I want to see full picture, I want to see what he wants us to become. I don't see it yet. At times I can feel that fear seeping in. I don't like it. So I constantly have to keep turning to him.

I feel like no matter how hard we try and how hard we work it really doesn't make a difference. I feel like things are not working out. As of right now, they are not working out. The only thing that is working out is God's plan. It's funny how I thought I had more control over this. But I guess this is what faith is. Belief.

I am mad. I am not mad at my Heavenly Father though. Every time I pray to him and tell him how I feel he always wraps me up with his unconditional love and tells me it'll be alright. I cry, pleading for more understanding. More patience more anything that will make this pain go away.

And so I trust Him, something I am very bad at (I have  a really hard time trusting others), and ... I wait. I pray. Hoping for brighter days ahead. 

"Do your best, and leave the rest to him"