Family Recipes

I updated my family recipes blog, I included why the motto of the blog is "I'll eat anything Missy makes." I decided to add it here as well because it's a good story. :)

I have learned a great lesson from Sam about "eating anything I make." Which is one of the reasons I started this blog. I am so grateful for my husband who lovingly eats the "gross meals" that I provide at times. I will probably only include meals that I feel turned out wonderful here . . . and never disclose all of the bad meals I make. However, I still cherish the burnt/ disgusting meals I make because of the lesson Sam teaches me each every time I make food. Below will explain why "I'll eat anything Missy makes" as the motto for this blog. I asked Sam what I should put for the motto and that's what he said. :)

I love to make food for Sam he get so excited when I say it's time to eat. We love eating! And I love knowing that he honestly loves and will eat everything that I make. Maybe not necessarily because of the taste, but because his sweetheart sacrificed to make it for him.

I can remember a night in particular {maybe even a couple} when, after a long, hard day at school and work, I placed an extremely gross meal in front Sam. I remember waiting to see if he noticed how disgusting it smelled/ turned out! {I was probably experimenting or trying to use up leftovers creatively}.

All my loving husband did was reach for his spoon or fork, and give me a smile and ask me how my day was. I don't remember what I told him that night, but I do remember watching him eat that gross meal. He ate every bite of that thing...never made a face nor uttered a word about it!

When I got up from the table that evening {aka our couch and t.v. tray we call our table since our apartment doesn't have a place for a table}, I remember apologizing to Sam for it not turning out. And I'll never forget what he says, "Honey, it's perfect."

Later that night, I asked Sam if he really liked that meal. He wrapped me in his arms and gave me a kiss. His kind gesture said to me: "You put in a hard day at work and school today and you're really tired. And besides--a little imperfect meal never hurt anyone!"

As I think about this, which I do often, I realized that Life is full of imperfect things and imperfect people. I'm not the best at hardly anything, and I forget birthdays and anniversaries just like everyone else. But what I've learned is that learning to accept each other's faults and choosing to celebrate each other’s differences is one of the most important keys to creating a healthy, growing, and lasting relationship. Understand the one you love; it will make your marriage richer. This is what Sam has taught me. I no longer worry if Sam will eat what I make and I thank him for that.

Sam taught me a valuable lesson where service, love, sacrifice, and selflessness are key factors in keeping a strong marriage. I feel this every time he says, "Please pass me the leftovers {that gross food that I made}" and gives me a smile which really tells me "yes, the burnt and imperfect one will do just fine" so that I may have the better piece.

"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle."

Stages of Marriage

Part of class notes/powerpoint from my Family Proclamation class. We were learning about the 3 stages of Marriage. 

Stage 1: Romantic Love Stage
- “ecstasy” – Greek word meaning “deranged”.
- primarily sexual, passionate, irrational.
- communication
- lack of lack of major crises
- tend to show only good side
- full of optimism
- Dopamine - mother nature’s way of attracting men and women to each other long enough for a seed for a more stable relationship to be planted and begin to grow
- great fun! - Well done Mother Nature!!

Stage 2: Disillusionment and Distraction 
- Romantic love inevitably slips away, the honeymoon always ends.
- Challenges arise.
- Learning to live together takes physical and emotional toll.
- Reality replaces fantasy.
- Marriage fulfills you but also disappoints you.
- Personality traits and behaviors not seen during courtship start to appear
(e.g., temper, mood swings, sleep patterns, irritability)
- “Best-side” forward replaced by basic side.
(Does not inspire romantic love)
- Start wanting to change our partner and maybe even feelings of regret.
- Start to experience stressful events that further tax the relationship.
(e.g., children, bills, illness, buying a home, miscarriage)
- Life “infringes” on the time devoted to relationship.
- Sex life hurt by stress, fatigue, diminishing romantic love, etc.
- GOOD NEWS!! MOST couples make it past this stage!

Stage 3: Dissolution or Adjustment with Resignation or Contentment.
Question now = “What should we do?”
1. We can give up – “Dissolving the relationship” (divorce, separation)
2. We can keep on trying to survive in an unsatisfying marriage - “Adjusting with Resignation”
- little love
- couples tend to grow apart and lead parallel lives
- stay together for external reasons (e.g., children, $, guilt)
3. We can decide to be more content – “Adjusting with contentment”
- Develop new kinds of love

I love learning about things like this!! It really makes me feel like Sam and I are actually doing really well. Beyond what we just think or believe. After I showed Sam these phases I asked him, "Where do you think we are?" And to my joy, he answered the exact same as me. "We are transitioning into stage 3" and pointed to the third option. That week {which was about a month ago}, we had a few conversations about "Adjusting with contentment" and developing new kinds of love. Even though, we still have to work to stay at this third, highest level . . . I am so grateful we both were able to realize that we really did not like the second stage relatively shortly after we entered into it. I am also grateful that we were able to be guided to where we are now and be on the right course for an enduring, happy marriage. 

Weekly Delights

* Sam calling me "You sillys"

* Having amazing and long conversations with Sam about parenting and how we are going to approach some parenting topics {how to exactly apply being authoritative through examples}.

* Going to an awards banquet and being recognized for my accomplishments {It felt great to be applauded by the president of BYU and Deans of colleges}

* Falling asleep snuggling {Sam always goes to bed with me and then gets back up to finish his homework}
* A hard-working husband

* Seeing blessing after blessing come to Sam during his {most likely} busiest college week yet.

* Having a luncheon with the donors of my scholarship and their kids, two donor liaisons  and the director of the School of Family Life. {More on this to come later}

* Finding out I was in a picture for an advertisement for a department on campus. 

* The warm weather and sunshine

* Having an awesome talk about ideologies with Sam

* Date night with Sam using our Texas Roadhouse gift card

* Giving advise

*Having a conversation with my big brother Syd {see below}. 

* Having my mother remind me of how rare of opportunities that I have had in my life {like the Heisman winner and state finalist}

* Talking to my lil' sis Courtney for 2 hours

* Rediscovering every day why Sam is so perfectly made for me

* Watching Sam's intramural team win their game!! It was tied the second half. With 20 seconds to go the other team scored {2} and then with 11 seconds to go we scored {3}. It was exciting!!

* Feeling soooo much love my heart and soul feel like they are going to burst

I Thank You Syd

I called Syd up to tell him about my luncheon with the Sandorf family; I knew he would think that was awesome because he has been there before and he could relate. I also wanted to make him proud of the little girl he raised. I also wanted to tell him something that I learned/ realized in my classes when we would talk about transitional characters. I could never picture myself as the one turning the table 180 degrees, even though the outcome would seem so. I feel like my contribution is small {comparatively}.  I knew this was because of Syd {the physical affection and better communication}. Syd took on everything and through it all was able to turn the trajectories. I called him to thank him for all what he did and for having courage and strength to do so. 

He also surprised me by complementing  me on my successes. He really put it in perspective for me. To summarize he said:
            A girl making it through through multiple dysfunctional families... is rare          
            A girl from a once broken down home graduating from High School ... is rare.
           On top of that going to a college, and even a good college... is rare.
           On top of that going to a nationally ranked college and being at the top of her class is   
           even more rare.
           What's even more impressive and rare is that she has a learning deficiency. 

I just wanted to reiterate what Syd said: We can really see the hand of God in all things, He is there and He watches over us. He loves us. :)

I hope that Syd knows I wouldn't be where I am today if it was not for him. I have so much gratitude towards him. I hope that he knows of my appreciation for what he has done for me. For the impact that he has made in my life. For the example that he is to me. For the many blessings that he has brought into my life. For his advise. For his help. For trusting me. For doing what he knew was right... For being selfless so I could reap the blessings from it. 

I love you Syd. 

This Nation Won't Fail

In light of all of the corruptness going on with the government. I find this quote by Harold B. Lee to be comforting:

"Men may fail in this country, earthquakes may come, seas may heave beyond their bounds, there may be great drought, disaster, and hardship, but this nation, founded on principles laid down by men whom God raised up, will never fail. This is the cradle of humanity, where life on this earth began in the Garden of Eden. This is the place of the new Jerusalem. This is the place that the Lord said is favored above all other nations in all the world. This is the place where the Savior will come to His temple. This is the favored land in all the world. Yes, I repeat, men may fail, but this nation won’t fail. I have faith in America; you and I must have faith in America, if we understand the teachings of the gospel of Jesus Christ. We are living in a day when we must pay heed to these challenges.

I plead with you not to preach pessimism. Preach that this is the greatest country in all the world. This is the favored land. This is the land of our forefathers. It is the nation that will stand despite whatever trials or crises it may yet have to pass through."

( Source: Ye Are the Light of the World 350-51 )

Prepare Every Needful Thing

“Organize yourselves; prepare every needful thing; and establish a house, even a house of prayer, a house of fasting, a house of faith, a house of learning, a house of glory, a house of order, a house of God” (D&C 88:119).

For some reason, I have felt very impressed to obey this particular council lately, especially the past couple months. Quotes, advise, random things that would help me prepare every needful thing and establish a house of God, has popped from the pages, things people would say would stand out to me or stick with me until I wrote it down on my goal sheet. 

To get my little family in order and to prepare every needful thing . . .  keeps penetrating in my mind and my heart. I don't know why, besides the fact that I know it is a good thing and it's something that I want. But what I know for sure is that my loving Heavenly Father has a plan for me. :)  

{Forever}

If you want something to last forever, you treat it differently. You shield it and protect it. You never abuse it. You don’t make it common or ordinary. If it ever becomes tarnished, you lovingly polish it until it gleams like new. It becomes special because you have made it so {referring to marriage}. - Howard